Here I Am
Every fiber of my being wants to know what I am saying yes to before I say yes. I want the details. I want to know where something is going, what it will require, and how it will turn out. I want the whole picture before I take the first step and I think that can creep into our relationship with God, too. We ask Him, What’s next? But underneath that question can be another one: Can You show me where this is going first?
Last month, we spent a lot of time asking God questions. What’s next? Should I keep going?Is this the door? What if I get it wrong? Can I trust You with this? I don't know about you, but I feel like in the last few weeks I was really able to pray some very honest prayers. We know God invites us to ask for wisdom, bring Him our fears, and trust Him with what we cannot see. But there comes a point when we have to stop waiting and just do it. So that is where I want to dive in for the month of October.
In Isaiah 6, Isaiah has an encounter with God and hears Him ask, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” Isaiah responds:
“Here am I! Send me.”— Isaiah 6:8
Isaiah didn't have an outline of everything he was agreeing to before he responded. He didn't know every detail of what God would ask of him. He simply made himself available I think we can make obedience much bigger than it needs to be. We picture the big things. A major calling. A huge change. Something that everyone else can see. Obedience can be more simple than that. It can look like apologizing when you know you were wrong. It can look like opening your Bible when you'd rather scroll.
It can look like having the hard conversation or forgiving someone.
God doesn't only ask us to follow Him in the big, life-changing moments. He invites us to follow Him right where we are. Here I am doesn't mean I know everything and sometimes it doesn't mean knowing anything at all. It means I'm available, I'm willing to listen, I'm willing to obey what God has already made clear, even while I am still waiting for clarity about other things. That changes the question from, “God, what is coming next?” to “God, what are You asking of me right here?”. Maybe there isn't a huge assignment waiting for you this month. You have your home. Your work. Your family. Your friendships. Your responsibilities. The people God has already placed around you. Start there, pay attention, listen, and respond.
The most important part is offering God what you have right now, in this moment. Whether that is your time, attention, or willingness. So for these next few weeks I will be praying, "Here I am, Lord. I don't know everything this month will hold, but I'm here." I cannot wait to see how the Lord moves this month!
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