What I Bring To The Friendship Table

I used to think friendship meant being the same kind of person. People who have similar energy, capacity, and even personality. I assumed that if I didn’t match someone in those ways, then the relationship could not possibly last. I recently was studying the book of Galations and it dawned on me that my thinking was wrong. That is not actually how God designed community to work. Galatians reminds us that we are children of God, and that we belong to Him. And from that place of identity, we are invited into community with one another. Not to compare ourselves, but to actually belong together. Which means that we were not meant to all bring the same thing to the table. In fact, I think part of the beauty of friendship is that God distributes His Spirit differently through each of us.

Galatians 5 talks about the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This had me thinking that God clearly knew what He was doing when He put the people in my life that I have.

I am so glad to not have to be the most outgoing person in the room!

I don’t need to be the one who always has it all together!

What if my role in friendship is simply to show up as the person God is shaping me to be?

Maybe I bring steadiness.

Maybe I bring encouragement.

Maybe I bring invitation.

Maybe I bring honesty.

Maybe I bring prayer.

And maybe someone else brings something completely different, and that, my friends, is not a gap to fix, but a gift to receive. Because when I look at the fruit of the Spirit, I don’t see a checklist I’m supposed to master alone. I see something that is meant to be shared across a body of believers.

Whew! What a relief. I can finally stop asking, “Am I enough for this relationship?” and start asking, “What has God actually placed in me to offer here?” Finally, I can stop competing, and start contributing. Do you know why? Because the Lord has been kind enough to show me that healthy community looks like different people, shaped by the same Spirit, learning to walk alongside one another.

So maybe I don’t need to become someone else in friendship. Maybe I just need to bring what God has already placed in me to the table.

And trust that there is room for all of us there.